Wednesday, January 28, 2009

An Envelope-Free Curmudgeon Begins

It’s been a full year since I discontinued publishing The Curmudgeon's Home Companion, my monthly food-and-opinions newsletter which after 15 years was beginning to feel like a duty rather than an adventure. I was suffering from a recurrent nightmare of myself stuffing envelopes on my deathbed, licking an envelope and dying like George's fiancee in Seinfeld. After 15 full years, 180 issues, and over 100,000 envelopes stuffed, I went cold turkey.

I stopped for several reasons. First, I was sick of inventing and trying new recipes all the time. I'd lost my lust for the new and wanted some of the old stuff. Second, I had moved to the Berkeley (California) area, where there are amazing independent markets and I could get ingredients that I only dreamed of when I lived in the chic but exceedingly boring Napa Valley. At $39.50 a pound at the local Napa supermarket, chanterelles were way out of my reach. But in Berkeley at the Monterey Market this past fall, chanterelles were between $7 and $8.50 a pound. In Berkeley I can get grass-fed beef, exotic cheeses, and an innumerable other foods not available in wine country. While I was living in the valley and writing the newsletter, I knew my readers in Austin, Ottawa, and Appaloosa couldn't get all those foods either, so it worked out pretty well. When I moved down to the East Bay I felt burdened by the obligation to write for them and use ingredients they could get at the Safeway. But I wasn't shopping at Safeway anymore. Now I can go to a guy who makes pasta for the fanciest restaurants and also sells to the public. So spinach lasagna doesn't have to be a rare treat anymore, unless I'm worrying about calories. And I can choose porcini pasta if I want to make a wild mushroom lasagna. Foodwise it's another world here, and it's a world I like.

As for the the third reason I quit: I'm half German and in 15 years the only time I was late with an issue of the newsletter was when we got flooded out of the house. Every time we went on vacation I had to precede it with a crash effort to make sure I got the newsletter done. I was really tired of being on a rigid schedule to produce what was beginning to seem like a millstone.

Going cold turkey was the smartest way to go. Granted, I would have liked to write about the election, but I knew I would have been rabid to the point of drooling. Oddly enough, I only lost two readers when I called Arnold Schwarzennegger Nazi spawn. I think those Napa subscribers were such dim bulbs that they didn't realize that I was calling his father a Nazi, which Arnold himself admits. And the presidential election just past offered plenty of fodder. But I could have not hidden my disappointment and ultimately unmitigated disgust that there were a mere 6.3 percentage points between the winner and the loser. Though after reviewing the events of the last few months and particularly the first week of the Obama presidency, maybe I should say between the loser and the other loser. It started when Obama voted for FISA immunity for the law-breaking telephone companies, and now his decision to cut the family planning money is out of the stimulus package to please the Republicans, who then gave him not a single Republican vote in the House, makes him look like a chump. Alice Waters said she voted for the first time in 40 years; I think I may have voted for the last time in as many years. Since I knew Obama couldn't help but win in California, I regret not writing in Bill Ayers. Still, I remain hopeful that part of "picking ourselves up and dusting ourselves off" has to mean war crimes trials for George, Dick, Don, and Alberto. It worked in Germany, where the Nuremberg trials made the people feel so much better about themselves that they created the famous "economic miracle."

Nonetheless, I regret that I didn't get to speculate about Sarah Palin's diet, even though the dogpile on her didn't need to get any bigger. And poor Cindy McCain was so thin I thought she might disappear completely, leaving just a puddle of venom behind. I was disappointed that none of the candidates seem to have any interest in food. But as I think back we have had quite a run of Presidents who showed no relationship with food, except maybe Bill Clinton, who didn’t care what it was, as long as it was junk and there was a lot of it. I suspect John F. Kennedy was the last president who ever ate a paté without thinking it was under-reheated meatloaf. I can just see Bush Junior saying, "And what's with those tiny pickles? I'm President--why don't I get a big one?"

Well, I can still find solace in food and a few other things for which I still feel real affection. My lovely daughter has come to California from dreary London for a week and has proven her love by setting up this blog (finally). And as a trade I've made a favorite of hers, Lasagne Verdi, and wild mushroom crostini for her and a group of her friends tonight.

Wild Mushroom Crostini recipe

1 onion, minced
3 cloves garlic, minced
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 pound wild mushrooms, cleaned and sliced (see note)
1/2 teaspoon freshly chopped rosemary
splash of Marsala
salt and pepper to taste
freshly grated Romano cheese (about 4 tablespoons)
a narrow baguette, preferably sourdough
1. Saute the onion and garlic in the oil until soft.
2. Add the mushrooms, rosemary and Marsala. Saute, stirring often, until the mushrooms are soft but quite dry. Add salt and pepper to taste, remembering that the Romano that comes later is salty.
3. Slice the baguette into rounds 1/4 inch thick. Pile the mushroom mixture on top of the bread rounds.
4. Place on a non-stick cookie sheet and sprinkle with the Romano. Bake at 300 degrees for about 8 minutes, until the cheese is melted but not brown.
note: If it isn't possible to get wild mushrooms that won't kill you possible, mix regular brown or white mushrooms with shiitaki.

Lasagne Verde recipe



Italians would serve this as a first course, but I usually make it the main dish; this recipes serves 8.

Spinach Pasta
1/2 10-ounce package frozen spinach
3 cups all-purpose flour
3 whole large eggs
or 6 bought 10x13 sheets of spinach pasta

1. Cook and cool the spinach. Squeeze out all the liquid. Chop in the food processor. Set aside.
2. Put the flour into the food processor. Break the three eggs into the flour. Add the chopped spinach.
3. Process until the eggs and spinach are blended. At that point you want a ball of quite dry dough, but you may end up with either grainy green flour or a sticky blob. If it is sticky add a little flour and process for a few more seconds. If it is grainy, pour it out and press it together into a ball, then process for a few seconds to knead it together.
4. Turn the dough out of the processor and knead for a minute, or until the dough is smooth and silky.
5. Set the rollers of the pasta machine to the widest opening. Take a chunk of dough and cover the remaining dough with plastic wrap.
6. Run the chunk of dough through the pasta machine once. Fold in half and repeat. Fold again and repeat. Each time it should become smoother and more square and even. Then narrow the setting and run through once or twice without folding. Repeat until you reach the second-to-last setting. (On my machine this is number 6, but some machines only go up to 6; in that case stop at 5.)
7. At this point you will have a green ribbon about 4 to 5 inches wide. Dust it lightly with flour, lay it on a clean, floured surface and cover with a clean dishtowel. Repeat until all the dough is rolled out.

Bechamel
7 cups milk
14 tablespoons butter (1 3/4 cubes)
1 cup plus 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
salt to taste

1. Bring the milk almost to a boil. Set aside.
2. Melt the butter in a saucepan. When it begins to foam, add the flour, stirring constantly.
3. Let the flour cook in the butter for about 2 minutes. Stir constantly and do not let it brown.
4. Add the milk and begin whisking. Continue to whisk until the sauce becomes thick and smooth. Taste and add salt as needed. (Remember, you’ll be adding salty Parmesan cheese later.)

Ragu Bolognese
1/3 cup olive oil
1/2 large onion, finely chopped
1 medium carrot, finely chopped or grated
1/4 pound pancetta (Italian bacon), finely chopped
1 pound skirt steak, ground
1/2 cup dry white wine
1 1/2 cups canned tomato puree
1/2 cup water
salt and pepper to taste
pinch of freshly grated nutmeg
1/4 cup heavy cream

1. Cook the vegetables in the olive oil until soft. Add the pancetta and the beef. Cook until the meat is no longer pink, but keep heat low.
2. Add the white wine, tomato puree and water. Stir in the salt, pepper and nutmeg.
3. Simmer for 2 hours, uncovered. Turn the heat off and add the cream. Taste and adjust the salt and pepper. If the sauce is not silky on the tongue, add a lump of butter or a little more cream.

To assemble:
3 cups freshly grated Parmesan
1/2 cup butter

1. Butter the bottom and sides of two 9 x 13 x 2-inch glass, ceramic or metal pans.
2. Bring a pot of water to the boil. Cook the noodles one or two at a time, as they are needed, leaving them in the boiling water for only 15 seconds. Remove and allow the water to drip off the noodles.
3. Place a layer of noodles in the bottom of each pan. Lightly spread with a little ragu and bechamel (about 1/2 cup each per layer). Sprinkle with about 1/4 cup Parmesan and cover with another layer of noodles. Repeat until you have 6 layers of pasta and toppings, ending with ragu, bechamel and Parmesan.
4. Dot the top with the remaining butter and bake at 350 degrees for 60 minutes if you just put it together. If you refrigerated the lasagne before baking, allow an hour will work as well. Let it sit for 10 minutes before serving.

Spinach Pasta recipe

1/2 10-ounce package frozen spinach
3 cups all-purpose flour
3 whole large eggs
or 6 bought 10x13 sheets of spinach pasta

1. Cook and cool the spinach. Squeeze out all the liquid. Chop in the food processor. Set aside.
2. Put the flour into the food processor. Break the three eggs into the flour. Add the chopped spinach.
3. Process until the eggs and spinach are blended. At that point you want a ball of quite dry dough, but you may end up with either grainy green flour or a sticky blob. If it is sticky add a little flour and process for a few more seconds. If it is grainy, pour it out and press it together into a ball, then process for a few seconds to knead it together.
4. Turn the dough out of the processor and knead for a minute, or until the dough is smooth and silky.
5. Set the rollers of the pasta machine to the widest opening. Take a chunk of dough and cover the remaining dough with plastic wrap.
6. Run the chunk of dough through the pasta machine once. Fold in half and repeat. Fold again and repeat. Each time it should become smoother and more square and even. Then narrow the setting and run through once or twice without folding. Repeat until you reach the second-to-last setting. (On my machine this is number 6, but some machines only go up to 6; in that case stop at 5.)
7. At this point you will have a green ribbon about 4 to 5 inches wide. Dust it lightly with flour, lay it on a clean, floured surface and cover with a clean dishtowel. Repeat until all the dough is rolled out.

Bechamel recipe

7 cups milk
14 tablespoons butter (1 3/4 cubes)
1 cup plus 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
salt to taste

1. Bring the milk almost to a boil. Set aside.
2. Melt the butter in a saucepan. When it begins to foam, add the flour, stirring constantly.
3. Let the flour cook in the butter for about 2 minutes. Stir constantly and do not let it brown.
4. Add the milk and begin whisking. Continue to whisk until the sauce becomes thick and smooth. Taste and add salt as needed. 

Ragu Bolognese recipe

1/3 cup olive oil
1/2 large onion, finely chopped
1 medium carrot, finely chopped or grated
1/4 pound pancetta (Italian bacon), finely chopped
1 pound skirt steak, ground
1/2 cup dry white wine
1 1/2 cups canned tomato puree
1/2 cup water
salt and pepper to taste
pinch of freshly grated nutmeg
1/4 cup heavy cream

1. Cook the vegetables in the olive oil until soft. Add the pancetta and the beef. Cook until the meat is no longer pink, but keep heat low.
2. Add the white wine, tomato puree and water. Stir in the salt, pepper and nutmeg.
3. Simmer for 2 hours, uncovered. Turn the heat off and add the cream. Taste and adjust the salt and pepper. If the sauce is not silky on the tongue, add a lump of butter or a little more cream.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009